I have a dream that someday Cruizer will be basically trustworthy and safe to ride on a fairly regular basis.
I tried to ride yesterday. After over an hour of lunging, four different bits, and several different approaches to how to ride, it just wasn't happening. I still don't have sensation throughout my whole back from the last time I went off, and I won't risk that again. Anytime I put pressure on the bit he sucked back so much that I felt NO mouth what so ever. I hate that feeling. I wish there was a nice way to harden up his mouth just a little bit. I hate getting on my own damn horse and not feeling safe or like I can trust him at all. I ended up giving up and just attempting some showmanship, but even that was a disaster. He is usually so automatic, but he was completely terrified of everything. I don't know what happened to my horse overnight, but I absolutely hate horses that act like this. I have never given him any reason to be afraid of a showmanship chain, or a bit, or contact, or any of the other things he was terrified of.
I'm hoping that tomorrow goes better. We have a clinic this weekend but I have absolutely no expectations for it anymore. Cruizer needs to get his brain screwed back in straight or I will NOT ride him. He's not safe to even sit on when he's like this.
The good news in all of this is he is completely sound. The arena was rock hard, and he was still able to do some pretty impressive airs above the ground for the two hours he was in the arena.